D'Artagnan: "How many times have you cleaned those pistols tonight?"
Aramis: "Respect your weapon, and it will respect you."
Me: *spits wine*
D'Artagnan: "Alright, just so I know, this whole - D'Artagnan the apprentice musketeer thing - how long does it last?"
Aramis: "Well - as long as it's funny."
Athos hates your life choices but he *really* wants to know what shampoo you use.
So - so far, so obvious set-up. I actually found this whole first section slightly aggravating, because I was waiting impatiently for the reveal. I don't want my show to lie to me for the lulz, I wanted an emotionally satisfying reveal scene, the scene that you could argue the entire series has been building up to. But no, they decided to fuck us all over instead. There you go guys, make it up for yourselves. (Or read the book I suppose. In which case it would just have been D'Artganan going "omgfuckoshit Athos I think I slept with your wife, what do I do???" and Athos just sighing a lot. So on reflection, maybe this way was better after all.)
I really like Charlotte's necklace. [/random]
Did Athos shoot him in the tit?
Milday: "I could blow your brains out now, and never think of you again."
Why *doesn't* she, that's what I want to know. She could take out the lot of them, she's a good shot, Paris has a lot of dark alleys. But no, it all has to be over-complicated. I think that's why she annoys me, she's not anywhere near as good or as ruthless an assassin as she's made out to be.
Aramis: "She loves him."
Porthos: "She said she didn't."
Aramis: "Do you believe that?
Porthos: "He did."
(so D'Artagnan's spilled his heart to them all about Constance then, or Porthos wouldn't know that. yet another scene we didn't get...)
D'Artagnan: "I will not murder my best friend." ♥
Treville: "Athos is the finest soldier in the regiment, I choose him."
*puts up hand* me too, get in line. (seriously though, people were actually convinced that all this was somehow legit? I was eyerolling so hard by this point I nearly gave myself a seizure. although all the awards to the guys, for acting people acting, if that makes sense?)
Actually, my main gripe (and when I say gripe, I still dearly love, and cherish it and want to rub myself agaisnt it in a slightly disturbing way) with this episode is the lack of Athos. He's not in it nearly enough. (ok if I had my way he'd never be off screen, but even so).
I loved Sarazin and Celine. Despite the wig. Actually, his eyeliner made up for that.
Oh thank God for that, 15 minutes in and we can finally stop pretending. (haven't we already had one 'Treville's-office-based hahaha-we're-only-kidding reveal' this series already? Bit lazy...but hey, GROUP HUG. I'll forgive a lot for epic man!hugging.)
D'Artagnan: "You were supposed to shoot me in the arm, Athos."
Athos: "A shot to the side is so much more authentic."
Aramis: "You're not claiming you aimed there delibeately?"
Athos: "Accuracy isn't easy after three bottles of wine."
Okay, so D'Artagnan slapping Athos with the glove was kind've hot.
Milady:"I thought you were like Athos, but I was wrong. He had greatness in him."
To be fair, I'm sure D'Artagnan has had Athos' greatness in him as well by this point...
D'Artagnan: "I just killed a man. It tends to dampen the mood."
Milady: "Not in my experience."
(I did wonder here whether D'Artagnan was prepared to take one for the team, as it were. Just because the ensuing pissy fallout on tumblr would have been hilarious. Sadly, it never, er, came up.)
D'Artagnan: "Touch me, and she dies!"
Richelieu: "Well do try not to get blood everywhere."
Milady: Well, you're not Athos.
*five minutes later D'Artagnan has his hands round her throat as well*
Milady: ...I take it all back.
Fave bit of the episode was probably the fake!funeral. Aramis and Porthos heckling the eulogy and forcing Treville to make it more impressive. Porthos *crying*.
Aramis: "There there. He's not actually dead."
Porthos: "Still. It's the thought of it, isn't it?"
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Aramis: "He was considered handsome."
Porthos: "More rugged, I'd say."
Aramis: "Well, I suppose it's in the eye of the beholder."
(I may have squealed and flailed quite a lot at this point...)
Athos: "How was my funeral?"
Porthos: "The Captain had some very nice things to say about you."
Aramis: "Porthos even shed a few tears."
Richelieu: "Athos was your friend. Are you so ready to forgive his murder?"
Porthos: "It's sad. Bt we can always find new friends."
Aramis: "And to be honest he was a little moody."
THEY SAID THE THING! I loved the way they did it too, so understated, and ritualistic/prayer-like, with the whole call-and-response thing.
Ooh, it's all gone very High Noon.
Of course Athos has got bombs. Of *course* he has.
How exactly *did* Bonacieux try and kill himself? By cheese grater? Because he has very odd wounds.
Just time for a couple of last epic bitch!faces from Athos...
So the end of this series was pretty much a triumph for slash fans. All the het ships are screwed over and the four boys ride off into the sunset. I approve heartily, hah.
And now we have to survive a whole year. WHERE ARE MY DVDS DAMMIT.