I feel cheated that we didn't actually get to see Athos' abduction. Not that I want to see him being roughly bundled into a cart or anything - no, wait, that's exactly what I wanted dammit.
Hang on, if Athos' estate is only a day's ride from Paris, but he's not been seen for days, exactly how long has he been unconscious?
Tied up and wet Athos? Yes pls. I am here for this. Also, in my bunk.
In the absence of Athos, both Porthos and Aramis have stepped up to take on leaning duties.
Porthos and d'Artagnan are worried. Aramis is wondering what to have for dinner.
LOL at d'Artagnan getting left with the shit-shovelling.
Athos: "If you mean to kill me at least give me the courtesy of an explanation."
So quiet and calm and weary. *thud*
Athos: "You're Bertrand, the innkeeper at Pinon. And Jeanne, his daughter."
Writers: "Yep, nailed it." *exposition!highfive*
Athos: "I make it a rule never to open letters. NOW TURN ME LOOSE DAMN YOU!"
Athos having an unexpected!Bilbo moment there. Bertrand might regret taking that ring off him later...
Athos: "I could have your heads for this." Never disturb a hungover Athos, it's most unwise.
At least they've taken the precaution of having a bucket ready for him.
d'Artagnan: "Unless you'd rather stay here shovelling sh.."
Aramis: "Surely, anything's better than that."
Interrupted swearing is my favourite thing ever XD
Okay, this scene screwed with my mental picture of where Athos' lodgings are, because I've always imagined them as being upstairs, as in the book. But apparently he's in a lower-ground floor room - and now rewatching, hang on, it's a room in the garrison?? That's Treville's leaning balcony out there, surely? Game changer. Also, fic-josser. XD
(I am pleased at getting to see this though. This is what I wanted out of this series, more of their domestic arrangements.)
Ooh, it hadn't occurred to me that Porthos might think de Foix was his father, but I suppose given the bequest that could be a natural assumption (not that Porthos has ever mentioned thinking this before, has he? WHY can't we have had just one scene of him talking to at least one of the others about all this? Even in the brief scene with Aramis later, he doesn't actually *say* anything, only that Treville's hiding something.)
"You don't let up, do you?" aka Athos is so done with women, part 1.
Why is that man throwing a chicken?
Renard: "I promise you, they will be treated as they deserve."
Oh Athos, really, you didn't spot that as being tricksy bullshit? I suppose you are hungover/possibly drugged/resentful as all hell, so we'll let you off. But only because you're pretty.
Why is Renard suddenly calling him Athos?
Renard: "So. You must kneel in the presence of your betters."
I love Athos' look of almost faintly amused disbelief here. Also, even if he has renounced his title, that doesn't make him a peasant, plus he's a King's Musketeer. Renard is so fucked. Also, it's Athos. Renard is SO fucked.
Oh Athos, stop hanging around.
Flogging! Yessss! Aw, denied.
Good shot madam!
Aaaand Porthos is first off his horse and cuts Athos free. Be still my beating heart <333
So whose cloak is Athos now wearing? Did they bring his along, or given that it seems to be a bit big on him am I allowed to believe it's Porthos'? :D
Porthos: "If I didn't know any better, I'd've said that sounded pretty cowardly."
Nobody else gets to call Athos a coward. Athos only ever lets himself get pushed around by his boys. <3
Porthos: "The Athos I know - always fights against injustice. Wherever he finds it."
Athos: "This is not your fight."
Porthos: "It is now."
Soft focus flashback romp time. Hang about, has Athos got his head between her legs? XD
What's Athos looking for? The wine? Oh no, the brooding parlour, for moar flashbacks.
Milady: killing people without getting blood on her dress since 1625.
Oh, ouch, that's the room they were in, in Commodities. The couch Porthos was sleeping on. No wonder Athos lost it.
Athos: "You live like this?"
Well it's cosier than your room, laddie.
d'Artagnan: "Are you sure you can handle this?"
Aramis: "We'll fight this battle, you worry about how to win the war."
Catherine: "And then you brought that woman home, and I was quietly passed on to Thomas."
This whole exchange makes little coherent sense, given that Athos says they were too young to be betrothed, but according to the tomb Thomas was 27 when he died, and was the younger (?) brother? How long were Athos and Milady married, I'm assuming not that long, a year or so? Not so long that Thomas had actually got round to marrying Catherine, anyway. I don't know where I'm going with this, just that it doesn't really hang together.
Hang on, she's calling him Athos as well. Have we actually established that his name is in fact Olivier in this version, I'm not sure?
Athos: "Do you want to get the weapons, or do you want to stand here and chat?"
Of course Athos has a secret armoury. Of course he does.
Athos: "A little battered, but just about serviceable."
d'Artagnan: "Are you talking about yourself, or that pistol?"
Athos: "Make your peace with God, Anne. For you must die."
What's he reading? Was this the proof of her origins that Thomas had uncovered? Or is it just a takeaway menu? (nobody seems *that* upset that Thomas is actually dead? as in, grieving for the man himself?)
Hey, d'Artagnan, maybe don't rest the candle on the barrels of gunpowder? Just a thought...
At this rate Edmond is going to be too shitfaced to do any ravishing.
Porthos is wondering if it would be in bad taste to get Athos to act out the same scenario later...
Obvious escape ploy is obvious.
Porthos: "I didn't think that would work."
Aramis: "Centuries of inbreeding is making the aristocracy stupid." I hope that wasn't a crack at Athos XD
I do like the interior of that hunting lodge though.
Oh God, they've not given her to Aramis have they? Given his current record she'd have been safer with Edmond.
Catherine: "Is he a Musketeer too?" (Athos: No, he's my bitch.)
Did Athos tell her about Milady being alive just to piss her off? Wouldn't put it past him XD
Post-slap Athos (or, Athos is so done with women, part 2):
Athos: "It never ends." Aww, poor baby, heh.
*cuts immediately to Athos driving the cart* XD
Damn it, Porthos is wearing his cloak, Athos must be wearing d'Art's.
Porthos: "Just when you think he can't surprise you any more." <3
The music's gone very Brokeback Mountain here. I'm just saying.
Aramis and d'Artagnan are judging you.
Hey, boys, the camera's behind you...
Treville: "Just you."
Small boy: Bitch please, I'se got mad skillz.
Small boy: *gets shot*
It's just as well Renard's not in any hurry isn't it. The fact that they only start training the villagers at sunrise.
I'm not saying this director's biased when it comes to shipping preferences but...
Okay, Athos and Porthos are on pistol-loading demonstration together, I take it all back.
Treville's obsessed with thrusting.
d'Artagnan: "You'd all be dead by now, but don't let that bother you."
He's definitely been hanging round Athos too long, heh.
Athos: "This is where we make our stand." And over here, a bookcase. And here, I thought maybe an occasional table.
Treville: "They'll be badly exposed." As opposed to Athos, who's getting more nicely exposed by the minute.
I think Catherine gets a hard deal out of this. Everyone's criticising her for not being some kind of egalitarian peasant-loving modern woman, but she was brought up as nobility, with certain expectations that got (we are at least so far given to understand, although I don't know where the fuck they're taking this storyline) screwed over by Milady, twice. Yes she's angry and bitter, but yes, she also has every right to be. She may also not be a terribly nice person - but that's surely a separate issue. Milady's just as vicious - murderously much more so - yet people seem to like her. It would have made far more sense for Athos to sign over his lands to Catherine, as he does totally suggest he's going to, the twit.
In fact, if he'd just done that at the beginning, they could probably have avoided the whole battle. With the estate back in the hands of a fierce noble determined to defend it, Renard might have backed off. Probably would have ultimately married Edmond off to her. Probably still a shitty deal for the peasants but hey, when you're a 17th century peasant, life's largely going to suck, and Athos has made it fairly clear that he couldn't really give a toss about them. He's not giving them the land so they can live happily in egalitarian bliss, he's giving it to them to make them fuck the fuck off and leave him alone.
Catherine: "Do you ever wish that you'd chosen me?"
Athos: Eww, girls.
Athos has found a convenient barricade to lean on.
Far too amused by Renard blowing his nose on the flag of truce.
Edmond: "Every last one of you is going to die. In pain!"
Suspicious haystack, absolutely not concealing an evil mastermind's base of operations.
Bit of swordage.
I love the woman who runs up and starts beating the shit out of the bloke Porthos has just shot XD
Why *has* Catherine brought her necklace to the battle as opposed to say, leaving it safely at home? *tries really hard not to make a pearl necklace joke*
Hmmn, duelling Athos, that's not going to go well now, is it Edmond?
He can't shake your hand anyway Treville, he's carrying a fuck off great barrel. Probably full of brandy for Athos, who's had a rough couple of days.
I'm pleasantly surprised that Bertrand and Jeanne made it out alive. I thought at least one of them would peg it.
Hmmn, 71 screencaps. Still not the record, I managed 87 for Commodities XD
Well, that episode certainly brought the pretty. More of that, pls.