Suzie Shooter

That's not gone well...

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 16:47:19 GMT

While undertaking annual mandatory training reading for work, I've just managed to stab myself in the face - with the corner of the Health & Safety booklet.

*fails*

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:56:42 GMT

The Manager: "Sometimes you've just got to put your foot down. This is our Dunkirk!"
Me: "...I'll get me boat."

Hmmn, have just encountered a thing called a Manometer. I wonder what it registers? *g*

Can you tell I'm bored? Anyway, 2 more hours and then I'm off until Tuesday, woo hoo! The fleshpots of London here I come...

steals work internets

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 16:37:48 GMT

Leave me an anonymous comment pouring your heart out. Say anything. Tell me your stories, your secrets, those things no one ever asks but you wish to tell. Tell me about your love, your hate, your indifference, your joy. Tell me about what's inside of you when you're reading through these entries on your friends list, and tell me why you continue to come back here. Tell me anything. Tell me what you really think of me or yourself. Anything.

IP logging is off. Post anonymously. Speak honestly. Post as many times as you like.

Chips Away!

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 19:04:06 GMT

Someone's just put a flyer through the door entitled "Chips Away". I was genuinely disappointed to discover upon closer inspection that it was advertising a car bodywork firm, and not a fish n chip delivery service. I need to get a life...

In other news, today's canteen menu special was "Baguette filled with hot meat." Is it just me that thinks that's worryingly unspecific? *g*

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 15:21:55 GMT

Happy Birthday marginaliana!

Bricking It

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 10:15:50 GMT

This may be a stupid question, but why didn't they just build the thing at Legoland in the first place, thereby avoiding any costs and effort involved in dismantling/moving/rebuilding?

"His bottom was so bruised he wondered if he would ever be able to sit down again."

Sat, 12 Sep 2009 14:09:28 GMT

Here, have an Alex Pettyfer pic!spam. Because I'm bored, and he's cute. Also, apparently not averse to getting his kit off...

Title quote, incidentally, from Point Blanc, the second Alex Rider book. It may have made me laugh quite a lot. Because I am a child.

Also, apparently he was up for the part of Alex in the Mummy 3. (a) I really, really, really wish he'd done it, and (b) WTF, will he only play people called Alex? *sporfles*

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 17:48:54 GMT

oh yes, and Happy Birthday suggsygirl!!

Baaaaa...

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 19:09:06 GMT

If anyone can still be arsed to think of anything...

Comment with:

1. One secret.
2. One compliment.
3. One non-compliment.
4. One love note, but it does not have to be for me.
5. Lyrics to a song.
6. How old you are.
7. How long we've been friends.
8. And a hint to who you are.

Ow, fuuuuuck!!

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 09:23:01 GMT

Just dropped a sausage back in the pan and splashed boiling oil all over my hand. Ow ow ow ow ow ow fuck.

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 10:51:28 GMT

Happy Birthday mad_lemming_89!!

I say, I say, I say

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 17:15:52 GMT

Train guard, overheard shouting across at passenger on opposite platform:
"Excuse me! Ths is a no smoking station. Go round the back where I can't see you!"

*sporfles*

Book meme gacked from anyana13x5

Sat, 15 Aug 2009 16:36:21 GMT

1) What author do you own the most books by?
Tanith Lee probably. 2 shelves' worth.

2) What book do you own the most copies of?
The only one I've deliberately bought more than one copy of is The Hounds Of The Morrigan by Pat O'Shea, because I already had the paperback, but found a beautiful hardback signed copy in a 2nd hand bookshop.

3) Did it bother you that both those questions ended with prepositions?
Nope.

4) What fictional character are you secretly in love with?
Algy Lacey.

5) What book have you read the most times in your life?
Erm, Hounds of the Morrigan? Ronia The Robber's Daughter? Good Omens?

6) What was your favorite book when you were ten years old?
Either Ronia The Robber's Daughter by Astrid Lindgren, or Amazon Adventure by Willard Price.

7) What is the worst book you've read in the past year?
Wasn't incredibly impressed with some of the new Doctor Who novels. Some of them read rather like bad fanfic.

8) What is the best book you've read in the past year?
Er - possibly the 19 Biggles books I've read so far?

9) If you could force everyone you tagged to read one book, what would it be?
Oh bloody hell, don't know. My Family And Other Animals by Gerald Durrell probably. Or Good Omens. Yes that's two, shut up.

10) Who deserves to win the next Nobel Prize for Literature?
No idea.

11) What book would you most like to see made into a movie?
Good Omens, although only if I'm allowed to cast it.

12) What book would you least like to see made into a movie?
Good Omens if anyone else casts it.

13) Describe your weirdest dream involving a writer, book, or literary character.
I once dreamt about holding hands with Neil Gaiman and discussing cake...

14) What is the most lowbrow book you've read as an adult?
I'm not entirely convinced I've read anything that could be classed as *highbrow*.

15) What is the most difficult book you've ever read?
Depends what you mean by difficult. I've never been able to finish any Thomas Hardy.

16) What is the most obscure Shakespeare play you've seen?
Coriolanus?

17) Do you prefer the French or the Russians?
At what, sex? Oh, writing presumably, har har. I'm not sure I've read anything by either.

18) Roth or Updike?
*shrugs*

19) David Sedaris or Dave Eggers?
Who?

20) Shakespeare, Milton, or Chaucer?
Shakespeare to watch, Milton to read. Not that I do. *sporfles*

21) Austen or Eliot?
George, or TS? George, presumably. Well, her by default, as I've not read any Austen LOL.

22) What is the biggest or most embarrassing gap in your reading?
Er - not having read any Austen?

23) What is your favourite novel?
The Cure Of Souls, Phil Rickman. Or Neverwhere. Or The Weirdstone of Brisingamen. Or the Hawk and Fisher books. Or Catherine Webb's Horatio Lyle books.

24) Play?
Twelfth Night?

25) Poem?
The Travellers, by Walter de la Mare. Possibly.

26) Essay?
Oh good grief I don't know. Do James and Jeremy's columns count?

27) Short story?
The Parrot Pirate Princess, by Joan Aiken.

28) Work of nonfiction?
My Family and Other Animals (does that count)? Or anything by Benedict Allen.

29) Who is your favorite writer?
I'm not sure I've got a single one, it used to be Tanith Lee, but I've not read any for a long time. Simon Green, possibly. Ooh, or Phil Rickman.

30) Who is the most overrated writer alive today?
Er - pass.

31) What is your desert island book?
Hmmn, Blue Moon Rising, Simon Green? Or Good Omens, but I'm trying not to keep giving the same answers LOL

32) And... what are you reading right now?
The Story Of Martha, Dan Abnett, The Palace of Varieties, James Lear, To The Baltic With Bob, Griff Rhys Jones.

Sat, 15 Aug 2009 10:23:59 GMT

Happy Birthday dracothelizard!

snickers

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 18:13:42 GMT

M'colleague, upon having a very good view of the Red Arrows t'other night: "at one point they flew so close I could see the pilot's helmet!"

...my, that is close! *dies laughing*

Fri, 07 Aug 2009 13:55:22 GMT

Happy Birthday kharma2815 and cenea! Hope you have a lovely day!

This is honestly not a euphemism.

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 15:21:06 GMT

I think there's a wasps' nest in my chimney.

Heard a buzzing yesterday morning, and found a wasp getting irritated with the net curtains - so I let it out, while wondering where it had come from, as there weren't any windows open. Then a bit later, there was another one. Strange, thinks I, but I'd had the back door open by then, so didn't really think any more of it. Then later again, I heard more buzzing - couldn't see anything in the window, then saw it down by the bottom of the gas fire (disconnected, due to the unique way my landlord is ~~funded~~ motivated). So I let that one out too. And then the fourth one, buzzing at the other window. And I could hear angry buzzing for a while behind the fire.

Now either it's one wasp doing laps for a bet, or the buggers are in the chimney. And I really have no idea how you'd get to them. Cock.

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 16:35:43 GMT

Happy Birthday clarkiegirl!

Sat, 18 Jul 2009 10:12:11 GMT

Happy Birthday rionaleonhart!

Hope it contains all kinds of awesome. And not too many zombies.

Meg's Tale (Western AU)

Thu, 16 Jul 2009 22:54:52 GMT

...because bellap74 told me to. And because I can't really post it at TGS heh.

Title: Meg's Tale
Pairings: James/Meg, implied James/Jeremy pre-slash
Rating: NC17
Wordcount: 1,707
Summary: Western AU. Before there was Jeremy, there was Meg.
AN: No, I don't know why I suddenly felt the urge to write het either. It's never happened before and will, I trust, never happen again. Feel free to ignore it. She was just a bit annoyed at being killed off, and demanded a back-story. Set, obviously, pre-High Noon.

Series index post here.

--

The first time she seduced him, it was almost just to see if she could. She knew he didn’t approve – of her, of her fortune telling. She needed, perhaps, to prove that the new priest was, after all, just a man, with a man's weaknesses. Maybe even assumed he might still be a virgin.

The moment he finally took her in his arms, she rather suspected this wasn't the case. The kiss was gentle, but confident for all that, and now that they'd come here, to his bedroom, any show of reluctance had dropped from him altogether.

His hands were warm on her skin as he laid her down in the bed, leaning over her hard and ready and unashamed.

She groaned quietly, feeling him pressed against her, parting her legs invitingly. For a while though, he held her, kissed her, unhurried. When he finally slid inside her, in one smooth thrust, she wrapped her arms around his neck and threw her head back, driving him deeper into her, rocking with the movements of his body.

She hadn't expected it to be like this. Hadn't expected that she would be the one unravelling first, that the feeling of him moving inside her would be bringing her this quickly to the edge.

He shifted position slightly, the angle of him grazing a different part of her, and suddenly she was coming, shuddering in his arms with sheer abandoned pleasure.

When she came down, he was holding her against him, still hard, watching her almost tenderly.

"Should I - ?" he murmured, hesitantly, pulling a little way out of her. She shook her head, pulling him closer.

"It's okay," she whispered.

"You're sure?" pressing kisses to her breasts, her throat.

She nodded, thrusting her hips forward, and he took the hint, picking up force, and a faster rhythm. Didn't take him long to reach a climax, spilling his seed in a sudden rush, groaning.

Afterwards, he held her, and kissed her, and she lay in his arms, faintly surprised. Had almost expected he would turn her out immediately, ashamed of what they'd done.

Hadn't expected, either, to feel the sudden wave of affection for him that she did.

"I can't have children," she blurted in a sudden need to explain, then felt a hot flush of embarrassment.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. She looked up.

"You really are, aren't you?" Kissed him, half-smiling. "I've never met a man like you before Reverend May."

He laughed. "I think under the circumstances, you could probably call me James."

"James," she repeated, softly. Kissed him.

"I'm guessing you weren't always a priest?" she murmured, running a hand down his chest, thoughtfully.

He laughed. "What gave me away?"

--

The next morning, she slipped away before he woke, unwilling to face the inevitable awkward conversation.

It was afternoon before she saw him again, when he entered the saloon. Her heart skipped and she frowned under her veil, annoyed with herself. Walked up to the bar, stood next to him, deliberately not looking over.

"Can I buy you a drink?"

His quiet offer made her jump, and she glared at him.

"I can buy my own, thank you." Took it back to her table, feeling his eyes on her. Unable to tell if he was angry, amused or hurt.

He downed the drink he'd ordered and left again.

A while later, when she'd finished her own, before she could get up the bar-tender came over with another. She looked up puzzled.

"Samson?"

"Compliments of the Reverend," he explained, impassive as ever. Set down the glass and went back to the bar.

She tried not to smile.

--

"You didn't have to buy me a drink you know."

James looked round, key to his front door hovering in front of the lock.

"You're welcome."

He opened the door, and hesitated. Looked back at her. "It wasn't some sort of bribe you know," he said, more softly. "Or a pay-off. It was just a drink. That's what friends do. Buy each other drinks."

"Are we? Friends then?" Her voice still held an edge of confrontation, of challenge.

He leant back against the doorframe, considering. "I should hope we weren't – adversaries."

A smile playing about the corners of his mouth now.

"Do you think I'm funny?"

"Would you prefer I thought you were consorting with demons?"

Despite herself, she was starting to laugh.

"So. Aren't you going to invite me in?"

--

Lying together a second time, she found it harder, somehow, to let herself go. James, despite impressive stamina, climaxed before she did, and seemed to realise she hadn't come.

Held her close, trailing fingers down her cheek.

"Did you - ?"

"It doesn’t matter." She kissed him, and he smiled against her lips.

"Yes it does," he whispered.

Let his fingers slide further down her body, over her breasts, her belly. She felt them come to rest between her legs, rubbing gently over the knotted heat that she couldn’t unpick.

Gasped involuntarily, as his fingertip slid inside her, brushing lightly, the heel of his hand rubbing over her groin, over and over, making her writhe and groan, until she felt a shuddering orgasm overtake her, waves and waves of intense sensation sweeping her away.

When it was over, she took hold of his hand, gently guiding it away. He smiled, hesitantly, and she kissed him, hard.

"That was – no-one's ever – " she sank down against his chest, laughing.

"Really?" James sounded surprised, and she laughed harder.

"Really." She flushed. "Well, only me."

It was his turn to laugh, and she slapped him lightly on the chest, sitting up.

"And what about you Reverend? Do you touch yourself in the dark when there's no-one looking?"

He pulled her down again, into his arms.

"Maybe."

"And next time will you think of me?"

"Maybe."

Laughing now, both of them.

--

And so it went on. She would wait, outside his door, in the shadows.

Not always. But sometimes.

One evening she watching him sitting slumped in the saloon, head bowed, lines standing out on his face. Looking tired.

When she approached him in the street later on, he shook his head, tiredly. "Not tonight Meg. It's been a hell of a day."

"Exactly the time you need what I'm offering then."

He was rough, that night, thrusting into her with an almost angry force, and she came harder than she could ever remember.

He held her tightly afterwards, guiltily whispering apologies that she kissed away.

--

She was falling for him.

She knew this, and resisted it, shaking the knowledge angrily out of her thoughts, knowing it could only end badly, for both of them.

In the end though, she couldn’t resist turning to the cards. But they wouldn’t fall as she'd hoped, and she couldn’t make sense of them.

Finally, picked out the priest card, shuffling the others, intending to see who would fall next to him. Hoping, she had to admit now, for something like the Queen of Cups, a card that could easily mean her.

The card that she turned over though, make no sense.

Justice.

She stared at it, frowning. Couldn’t really make it refer to her no matter how she twisted the meanings.

Sat back in her chair, pushing the cards away, looking up instead at where James was sitting at the bar talking to –

She blinked. Shook her head, irritably. Stupid. Clarkson was his friend, that was all. Just because he was the sheriff didn’t mean the cards were indicating him. He was a man, anyway. It could hardly be him.

She looked again. James was laughing, hard, at something Clarkson had said. The sheriff was waving his drink around to illustrate a point, spilling it on himself, and James was laughing harder.

She left the bar, thoughts in a confused whirl.

--

She watched them, now. Watched how they confided in each other, as in no-one else. Watched how, when the sheriff was falling-down drunk, which was most evenings, James would take him home, see him safely indoors.

Angrily, she set the cards aside. They were only showing a possible future. She should tell James how she felt. She could make him hers. She knew she could.

--

Her usual seat, under the window. Watching, always watching.

Across the saloon, the sheriff sliding off his bar stool and almost falling into a nearby table.

James throwing an arm round him, keeping him upright.

She could hear the argument from the other side of the room.

"I think you've had enough,"

"No I bloody haven't."

"Let me take you home Jez."

"Fuck off. Who put you in charge? I'm fine."

"Really? Stand up on your own then and prove it."

"See, I'm - oh fuck."

"Jeremy?"

"M'gonna be sick."

Watched James hurriedly help him outside while the rest of the bar looked away in disgust.

Slipped out herself a few minutes later, saw James sitting on the end of the veranda, hand on Jeremy's back while he threw his guts up into the street. Stood in the shadows as after a while James helped him up, walking him home, one arm round him supportively.

She loved him. She knew that now.

But Jeremy needed him. She knew that, too. And it hurt.

--

He turned, at the hand on his sleeve.

"Meg." He sighed. "I'm not really –"

"Well what if I am?" she interrupted. "What if I need this for once?"

He lead her inside, making no further protest.

Despite herself, she found it hard to come no matter what James did, and sighed in frustration. Then melted in sheer wonder when he slid down her body under the sheet and she felt his mouth on her. A warm wet tongue probing inside her, licking and pressing and fucking and oh God…

She lay in his arms, spent and sleepy.

I love you.

She didn’t say it.

Old habits perhaps. Perhaps not.

--

She went with others, and made sure James knew. Not entirely sure if she wanted to make him jealous or if she wanted to keep him at a distance.

Now she knew what the cards had meant, watching Jeremy watching him.

And wondering if James would ever notice.

--

is bored

Thu, 16 Jul 2009 18:13:14 GMT

...anyone want a ficlet? you know the drill...

Oh cock.

Thu, 16 Jul 2009 16:58:29 GMT

The handle has just come off my favourite mug. I've had it for - twelve maybe? - years, and it was made 'specially for me and has my name on, and a cat, and everything.

*sulks*

Also, going back to work tomorrow.

*sulks more*

Cheering me up: ur doin it wrong

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 17:04:46 GMT

So I have just had a conversation with my mother in which she has informed me that my symptoms are exactly that of swine flu, and that in all probability this is what I've just had.

I was a bit taken aback by this.

I've not paid much attention to it, to be honest, so all I knew about it was that occasionally people have died. But apparently in most cases it's just like really mild flu, with a headache, bad sore throat and general weakness.

Aaaaand now I'm having a hot flush.

*Squeeeeeeeeaaaaaallllls*

And now, the news.

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 12:15:05 GMT

New layout. You likee - Y/N?

Been bored with the old one for a while but could never find another one I liked.

In more important news - I have coffee. Fuck yes.

Index Post for TG Western Series

Mon, 13 Jul 2009 17:42:36 GMT

As promised...

High Noon
Conception has a problem. And the solution might just be about to ride into town.
Part One : Part Two

Midnight Cowboy
That noise? That's the rustling of cattle.
Part One : Part Two : Part Three

The Great Train Robbery
In which - yeah. There's this train, right...
Part One : Part Two : Part Three

Yesterdays
In which James' past catches up with him.
Part One : Part Two : Part Three

Pale Rider
In which Conception is host to a sharpshooting competition.
Part One : Part Two : Part Three : Part Four : Part Five : Part Six : Part Seven : Part Eight : Part Nine : Part Ten

Death Rides A Dark Horse
In which a plague comes to the town of Conception.
Part One : Part Two

Reflections
In which James is convalescing and Jeremy suggests they go away for a few days
Complete

Meg's Tale
Before there was Jeremy, there was Meg... (Het & pre-slash. Prequel set before High Noon)
Complete

Coming soon(ish)...

A Fistful Of Dollars
Which has James on the run, and the return of Judge Wilman.