Suzie Shooter

Someone's just put a flyer through the door entitled "Chips Away". I was genuinely disappointed to discover upon closer inspection that it was advertising a car bodywork firm, and not a fish n chip delivery service. I need to get a life...

In other news, today's canteen menu special was "Baguette filled with hot meat." Is it just me that thinks that's worryingly unspecific? *g*

Train guard, overheard shouting across at passenger on opposite platform:
"Excuse me! Ths is a no smoking station. Go round the back where I can't see you!"

*sporfles*

M'colleague, upon having a very good view of the Red Arrows t'other night: "at one point they flew so close I could see the pilot's helmet!"

...my, that is close! *dies laughing*

This will possibly only be *truly* funny to thinkpink20...


see more Fail Blog

BBC news just announced an earthquake in South Wales. My first thought? Bloody Torchwood...

*g*

I went on the internet, and I found this

...what? You were expecting something else? *sniggers*

1) Sometimes what looks like a banana, is not necessarily a banana.
2) Sometimes you just have to keep looking for the remote control.
3) Chester has the highest percentage of truly weird street performers per head of population....in the world.

rhosyndu - the third Investigator was Bob Andrews. Is that what I said? All I can remember is you laughing at whatever I suggested...

Anyway, on another note, random googling of other teenage-years-books leads me to the discovery of the title "Tom Swift and His Big Tunnel" which trumps anything Biggles can offer, I fancy. Oooh, or "Tom Swift and His Great Oil Gusher". *sporfles*

...OMG, Franklin W Dixon doesn't actually exist. I'm going to stop now before I discover anything else upsetting. Or before I succumb to the temptation of looking for Hardy Boys slash. Or Hal/Roger incest slash. Or... Oh bloody hell I had to look up Nancy Drew didn't I? Carolyn Keene doesn't exist either. Is nothing from my childhood real?

....Frances K. Judd (Kay Tracey books, which I'd forgotten about until I saw the link) apparently isn't real either. I feel sullied and unusual. And not in a good way.

(Incidentally, this is apparently post number 1,001. Why yes, this would have been more relevant had I noticed while posting the last one. Ho hum.)

Ginger called down the hatchway, "Are you fellows getting up?"
"Just coming now," answered Biggles.


...I think I'm going to like these. *snerk*

( I saw this on a card the other day, and felt the urge to share )

Open google and type into the search bar your first name and likes to, e.g "Suzie likes to". Post the first ten results to your LJ.

(and I swear I'm not making these up)

- Suzie likes to swing
- Suzie likes her whips and chains
- Suzie likes it on the fridge
- Suzie likes it up the arse
- Suzie likes to kill things
- [Not sure if] Suzie likes this jacket from Amsterdam
- Suzie likes to walk the moon down on the ocean
- Suzie likes to join me in front of the TV
- Suzie likes to drive
- Suzie likes to garden

...heh.

( ETA because these are funnier )

I have had an epiphany. Domino's opened up a store in town not long ago, and it occurred to me on the way home tonight that this means I can order online with none of that nasty telephoning business.

Major. Fucking. Win.

Albeit bad news for my waistline *sporfles*

Amusingly, their phone number is almost identical to the existing pizza shop, just round the corner from them (313131 vs 311313). Also, they stuck some vouchers through the door the other day, and on the back of some of them it says: "More than one buy one get one free coupons can be used at the same time" - just below the bit on the same voucher that says "Only one coupon per order." *headdesk*

ETA: Fuck me - it's here already! Less than 15 minutes! You had to wait up to an hour for the other place! OM NOM NOM

I'm back at work. Boo. Also, they moved our offices round while I was off, so now I can't find anything LOL. *headdesk*

I bummed a lift home in a taxi with my gran the other day, and we could hear discussion over the radio between the base and another taxi about a lorry blocking Market Street. At which point our driver picked up his radio and urged "Use the cannon!" *sporfles*

This post brought to you by the emotions "bored," "still ill" and "lack of motivation." And emotions is the wrong word, but I care not.

Thieves swipe Bo Duke's puppies ...this is a sad tale, and the headline should not have made me laugh so much. :D

D'you know, I just opened the cupboard in the kitchen at work to get a teabag, and found the milk on the shelf in there. I half expected to find the teabags in the fridge. It's good to know someone round here's even more dazed and confused than me...

...just opened the door to the loo only to almost fall arse over tit because someone had placed a 'wet floor' sign *right* inside the door. Muppets.

--

Colleague H: *opens advent calendar window* - "...it's a man with a walking stick!"
Colleague C: *looks* *headdesks* "It's one of the Three Kings."
Colleague H: "But he's got a round head!"
Me: (shouting from kitchen) "He's obviously been circumcised then!"

*sporfles*

Dear Colleague, just because you get to f*** off at 4.00 does not mean it is helpful for you to turn off the hot water boiler and photocopier when you go. There are still some poor sods working up here.

On another note - someone's just walked past the door saying - "...I just can't concentrate when it's in my mouth..." *sniggers*

As headlines go, "Prostitution crackdown unveiled" has to be one of the more unfortunate. I suppose it could have been worse. If they'd been dancing it could have been a ho-down...

( random lolcat )

There was some sort of god-bothering poster on the bus this morning - with a quote, followed by "John, 5:24" and then in brackets (The Bible). Presumably, in case you thought it was a reference from the Argos catalogue or the time of day John had muttered it.

Anyway, I refuse to put my immortal soul in the hands of people willing to use the spelling "freefone"...