Summary: Athos and Porthos try to dissuade Aramis from making a play for the Queen by reminding him what they can offer themselves.
AN: Spoilers for episode 2. Cross-posted to AO3.
"Tell me he wouldn't be that stupid?"
Porthos grinned. "I'll wager that's still a question you know the answer to."
"But the Queen?" Athos stopped pacing to stare at him in disbelief. Porthos shrugged.
"I can only tell you what I saw. And what I saw, was a man who was definitely starting to believe he was in with a chance."
Athos groaned. "He'll get himself killed. He'll get us all killed!"
The door to the stables opened and Aramis strode in just in time to hear this last sentiment. He looked enquiring. "What's he done now?"
Athos and Porthos exchanged a look. "Who?"
"D'Artagnan. I presume that's who you were talking about?"
"Actually - " Athos folded his arms. "We were talking about you."
Aramis looked surprised. "What have I done?"
"More what you're thinking of doing," Athos said darkly.
"Or who," Porthos added with a smirk.
Aramis looked from one to the other in confusion. "Are we going to play guessing games, or are you going to reach an actual point soon?"
"Tell me," Athos said slowly, "that you are not considering her Royal Majesty as your next conquest."
Aramis' expression slowly moved from indignant confusion to something closer to a smug grin. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean. I have her majesty's favour, that's all. I can't help it if some people are jealous," he added with a pointed look at Porthos.
"You might fool some people," Porthos said with a smile. "You forget, we know you too well. And I know the look you get."
"Why should I not admire her? She is a woman of exquisite taste and refinement," Aramis said with dignity.
"Remind me what she sees in you again?" Porthos asked.
"She's a young impressionable girl who thinks you saved her life," Athos said with a sigh.
"I did save her life!" Aramis objected. "Probably."
"Oh yeah," said Porthos. "That was the part where Athos and I put down a riot while you got to lie on the ground out of the way, right? I've always admired your bravery."
Aramis looked briefly furious and Athos put a calming hand on his arm. "Your courage isn't in question," he said quietly. They'd both seen Aramis throw himself on top of a bomb he had no reason to suppose wasn't about to go off, and the fact that the Queen had seen it too probably played a large part in her current affection for him.
"Just your common sense," Porthos added helpfully.
"Well - perhaps I love her. Had you considered that?"
"And last week it was Adele. And next week it'll be someone else," Athos told him with rising impatience. "Which is all fine and good, but if you could possibly pick someone who doesn't have the ability to have the entire regiment hung on a whim if she feels she's been slighted, that would be nice. And I'm not even going to imagine what would happen if the King found out - or worse, the Cardinal. Because we'd end up chopped into too many pieces for my mind to currently comprehend. And no," he continued, forestalling Aramis' objection with a raised hand. "Before you say it, it wouldn't stop at you. The Cardinal's been looking for an excuse to disband the Musketeers for ages, you'd be playing right into his hands with this."
Aramis looked huffy and Athos sighed, glancing at Porthos in a plea for assistance. Porthos moved closer, clapping a hand on Aramis' shoulder.
"If it's great taste you look for in a person, I've got something great you can taste?" he suggested.
There was a moment of silence, then Aramis snorted with laughter and the tension was broken. Athos relaxed, shaking his head.
"He's right. What do you need with a girl-child, when you've got us?" he murmured, deliberately getting into Aramis' personal space. Aramis made to take a step back and bumped up against Porthos, who'd moved to stand behind him.
"Why do I get the feeling I've walked into an ambush?" Aramis asked, trying not to smile.
"Think of it as a gentle reminder of what you've been missing," said Athos.
"Or not so gentle, if you'd prefer it that way," Porthos offered, letting his hands come to rest on Aramis' waist and biting at the exposed strip of skin at the back of his neck.
Aramis caught his breath, and laughed at his own reaction. "Someone will see," he protested.
"No-one will see." Athos held his gaze. "We're the last here. Or are you scared?"
"Scared?" Aramis looked indignant again and Athos grinned.
"I'd just prefer to do it somewhere a little more comfortable," Aramis said, wrinkling his nose. "A little less - straw and horseshit based."
"That's a yes then, is it?" Porthos asked, looking at Athos over Aramis' shoulder and smirking.
"How could I resist such a charming invitation?" Aramis retorted.
Athos looked at him. "Well. It has been a while, since you - joined us?"
"I'm sure you've managed to keep each other occupied. I've been busy," Aramis said defensively. "You can't hold that against me."
"I can hold anything I like against you," Athos told him, making Porthos laugh. "And I intend to, too."
Aramis raised an eyebrow but didn't object, and Athos slowly smiled.
They relocated to Aramis' rooms, on the grounds he owned the biggest bed, and that as he'd declined to fuck in the stables he might as well have to deal with any mess they made. Or breakages. For a group of men renowned for balance and co-ordination in their daily life, they all had an unfortunate tendency to get carried away when it came to sex.
In varying degrees of undress they arrayed themselves on the bed, Aramis sitting between his two friends and looking from one to the other with a slight smile. He smoothed his moustache with a considering hand and cleared his throat.
"Well gentlemen, if you'd like to form an orderly queue."
Porthos gave a throaty laugh. "Oh no. You're ours tonight."
"Is that so?" Aramis glanced at Athos, who just looked amused, then back to Porthos. "And I get no say in this?"
Porthos tutted. "Course you do. One of us behind, one in front. You get to pick which." He was sitting with his legs splayed, already erect, with one hand running thoughtfully up and down his sizeable cock.
"So my choice is being choked to death or split in two. Marvellous," Aramis sighed, seemingly unable to tear his gaze away from the sight.
Porthos caught Athos' eye and grinned. "I think he just said I'm bigger than you."
Athos shrugged. "You could bear the biggest weapon in all of France, means nothing if you don't know how to wield it."
Porthos threw his head back and laughed, and Aramis turned on the bed.
"Athos," he said, drawing out the name. "Won't you save me from this brute?"
"Willingly," Athos smiled, and drew Aramis into his arms to kiss him. Both shirtless, the kiss gradually deepened as they got into it. Aramis was a good kisser, and Athos was entirely happy to linger over it.
Porthos watched them with pleasure, idly stroking himself and enjoying the spectacle. Whilst the three of them tended towards the wildly competitive in most things, there was rarely jealousy between them, and their shared lovemaking had always been at heart good-natured.
When they broke off, he touched Aramis on the arm to get his attention and grinned. "My turn. I think you'll find I've got a better use for those lips."
Aramis conceded with a smile and lowered himself to the bed between Porthos' legs. For all his protests he was more than happy to oblige, and took Porthos into his mouth with a hum of appreciation.
"Oh, yes." Porthos gave Athos a triumphant look before concentrating on the dark head bobbing in his lap.
Aramis prided himself on his skills as a lover, dedicating himself to perfecting anything and everything that might be required of him - something that had held equally true when he'd found himself sleeping with his two friends. In fact, a whole new world of possibilities had opened up to him, and he'd set about exploring them with as much enthusiasm as he dedicated to everything else. In the normal way of things, both Porthos and Athos would have been more than happy to have Aramis fuck them, were it not for the unspoken agreement that tonight they'd decided to teach him something of a lesson.
Shedding the rest of his underclothes, Athos took a little oil from the vial Aramis kept handy for exactly such an eventuality, and prepared himself. He suspected this was one more reason Aramis hadn't wanted to do it in the stables - whilst a palmful of spit could be just as effective, it did make for a somewhat rougher ride.
When he was ready, Porthos alerted Aramis with a touch and a nod, less from courtesy than a sense of self-preservation - he didn't want Aramis biting down on anything because Athos had made him jump.
"On your knees, I think," Athos directed, and Aramis lifted himself up into a crouching position. Porthos knelt up too, keeping his cock on a level with Aramis' face, and casually whacking him on the cheek with it while he waited for Athos to get on with things.
Aramis spluttered with laughter. "Fuck off."
"Such language," Porthos rumbled with a grin. "Somebody needs their mouth filling up." He glanced down at Athos. "Not just their mouth, either."
Athos settled himself comfortably behind Aramis, cock in hand. Aramis braced himself against Porthos' shoulder, grunting slightly as Athos pushed inside him.
When he was all the way in, Aramis released a shuddering breath and nodded to Porthos, both in silent thanks for the supporting arms that had held him up and to let him know he was ready to continue.
Porthos guided his cock back into Aramis' mouth, Athos waiting until they were both happy before he started thrusting in earnest. Between them it took a few haphazard strokes before Athos and Porthos settled on a mutual rhythm that had Aramis rocking back and forth between them. They reached out to clasp hands across his back, ostensibly to brace Aramis and stop either of them falling backwards but in reality just as much for the sake of the touch itself.
Athos looked on the way Aramis was swallowing Porthos' cock with something like admiration. Porthos was, arguments aside, the biggest of them in every sense, and Athos knew he wouldn't have been able to accommodate quite so much of him, or so hard.
The thought made him thrust harder as a fresh rush of arousal coursed through him, briefly upsetting their established rhythm and making Aramis choke in surprise. They paused until he'd stopped swearing then picked up where they'd left off, largely unrepentant.
"Getting close," Porthos muttered after a while, sounding like he had his teeth clenched. He tightened his grip on Athos' hand, feeling Athos squeeze back in understanding before slowing his thrusts for a moment, giving Aramis the chance to pull back if he wanted.
Aramis, who would have considered not finishing the job to have been a lamentable lapse of manners, took the opportunity to return a certain amount of care and skill to what he was doing. Up to this point he'd had little control over the force with which Porthos had been fucking his throat, but now he sucked and stroked with a careful attention that had Porthos exploding in his mouth in less than a minute.
"Fuck." Porthos fell backwards with a sigh, leaving Aramis kneeling there with a mixture of saliva and semen running down his chin and a dazed look in his eyes.
Athos gripped Aramis firmly about the hips and renewed his efforts, savouring every single sensation that the warm, willing body rocking before him offered up. With Porthos having subsided to the mattress, Aramis was now propping himself up on his elbows with his arse in the air and Athos took full advantage of the appealing new angle. It wasn't long before he too reached his climax, spilling hotly inside Aramis with a heartfelt groan.
He pulled back carefully and sank to one side, letting Aramis collapse to the bed between them, his untouched cock still rigid and leaking.
"My turn now?" Aramis asked plaintively. "Say it is."
Athos looked at Porthos, and smiled as they simultaneously made an 'after you' gesture. "Together, then?" he murmured, and Porthos nodded.
As soon as he realised their intention, Aramis drew his legs up eagerly and they settled between them with a minimum of jostling. It occurred to Athos that perhaps this was the best thing they could be doing if they wanted to convince Aramis to forget his earlier fancies - the Queen was hardly going to offer him the kind of encounter that could be provided by two men with large hands and experienced mouths.
Together, he and Porthos set about bringing Aramis to a well-deserved and drawn out orgasm, their lips moving wetly on his aching body, encountering and kissing each other in the process. Finally, with Porthos' tongue working his balls and Athos' mouth round the head of his cock, Aramis came with a wordless cry of completion, wrung out and shuddering under their hands.
Athos raised his head, licking his lips and was immediately seized by Porthos who kissed him fiercely, licking his way into Athos' mouth to taste Aramis' release, before throwing himself back down to the bed and kissing Aramis as well for good measure.
Aramis lay back, hands tucked behind his head and a smile on his lips, as Athos and Porthos settled down either side of him.
"Do you think he's convinced?" Porthos mused, catching Athos' eye and winking.
"We can but hope." Athos smiled back, shifting position until his forearm was pressed against Porthos' where they both rested across Aramis' stomach.
Porthos yawned. "Is anyone else hungry?"
"Well I'm not feeding you," Aramis told him. "Last time you cleared out half the pantry."
"It's not like there was much in it to start with," Porthos grumbled.
Athos smiled, listening to them bicker without bothering to join in or take sides. It was a comforting sort of argument without any real heat to it, and his mind drifted to Porthos' earlier words.
It had occurred to him that if the Queen decided she wanted Aramis, it could be just as dangerous for him to refuse her as to initiate it. It was a delicate situation, and perhaps after all, this evening had been less about dissuading Aramis from a course of action than about reaffirming their unconditional trust in each other.
Whatever happened would happen, and they would face it as they always did: together.